“Thanks for Sharing” Movie Review
“Thanks for Sharing” is a poignant, and, often, comic look at sexual addiction and recovery. The story follows three sex addicts in different stages of recovery, who, for all of their differences, learn to lean on and support each other through the dark times that challenge their sobriety. Adam (Mark Ruffalo) is an environmental consultant, who recently celebrated five years of sobriety in a Twelve Step group for sex addicts, and looks the part of the successful recovering addict. We see him using relapse prevention skills such as the “3-second rule” and demonstrating healthy boundaries in his recovery. After being encouraged by his sponsor, Mike (Tim Robbins), to begin dating, he meets Phoebe (Gwyneth Paltrow), a breast cancer survivor who lives her life under tight controls and exhibits some compulsive behaviors of her own. The problems that arise in their early relationship are realistic portrayals of some of the issues facing recovering sex addicts newly dating.
Adam’s sponsor, a “double winner” who is sober from both alcohol and sex, is still married to his high school sweetheart. While he is able to offer fatherly guidance to Adam and be there for other recovering addicts, his relationship with his own son is still damaged by Mike’s inability to make amends to his family. With Mike’s son in his first year of recovery from drugs, the movie portrays the multigenerational aspect of addiction, and how family members are impacted. When Phoebe confides in Mike’s wife, Kate, about the difficulties of being in relationship with an addict, Kate offers a few somewhat robotic slogans that demonstrate she has worked at her own recovery and issues, but she seems anxious to avoid any feelings she may still have about her marriage. Unfortunately for viewers, she never explicitly says she is a member of a Twelve Step support group for partners/spouses, or that she herself got some help in therapy or other treatment.
Neil (Josh Gad), a young emergency room doc, who is court-ordered to the Twelve Step group, is still in denial and rankles everyone with his inability to take recovery seriously. After his sex addiction causes him to lose his job, he finds his bottom, and, with the support of Dede (Alecia Moore aka Pink), begins to truly work at his recovery.
The movie is the most realistic portrayal of sexual addiction yet to come out of Hollywood. It doesn’t sensationalize or minimize sexual addiction, and it deals with many issues that recovering addicts face, including relapse and family relationships that don’t heal immediately after the acting out stops. With Dede, we get a view into the world of one female sex addict and her struggles in recovery. With Phoebe and Kate, we share the world in which partners and spouses live in relationships with sex addicts, and are reminded that they have their own demons to battle. And, Neil’s relationship with his mother lets us peek into some family-of-origin issues that may contribute to the intimacy problems faced by addicts.
The one noted disappointment is the film’s lack of explanation of how partners/spouses seek help and do their own healing work. For as much time as the film spent extolling the benefits of having a community of support in recovery, and the vulnerability of addicts when trying to go it alone, the lack of mention of counseling or support groups for partners was a glaring omission.
Finally, a note to those in recovery and/or those sensitive to sexual content, the movie does contain some graphic and potentially triggering scenes. Please decide with the help of your support system whether this movie is a good choice for you.
